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The Golmore Jungle is unbearably hot, humid and totally exhausting. The fiends are vicious here and they are hiding in every shadow. After following a path for over two hours, I am horrified to find we have arrived back at the beginning of the dungeon, all this effort is leading us round in circles, ‘This is useless!’ I scream, and take a violent slash at a vine hanging from a tree, however the sweat causes my sword to fly uncontrollably out of my hand, nearly taking Vaan’s head off and skittering to the ground near a bunch of vibrantly coloured flowers, closest to Balthier’s feet. He tentatively picks up my sword, but seeing the flowers, crouches down near them, inspecting the leaves and petals carefully. I stomp over to him to demand my weapon back, but he holds it still in his left hand, and with his right picks one of the blooms and hands the two to me. ‘For you, Princess’, he says with a glint in his eye that makes him seem very untrustworthy, I look at the flower, and although a pretty colour, it has large swollen petals, and actually looks rather peculiar. I wonder if it has a pleasant scent, but to my dismay when I smell it some foul pollen goes up my nose and sends me into a violent sneezing fit that burns the inside of my throat. I crush the weed in my hand and liquid pours out of it and runs down my arm. ‘Is this some kind of joke Balthier!?’ I scream clenching my fists and feeling like I am about to kill everything in this entire Jungle, starting with him. ‘I think you need to relax a little’ Vaan says quietly from behind, I’m about to turn around and punch him, but instead turn off down a new path, trying to calm down, because I know they are not the ones causing my anger. I blink, slowly, twice, and when I close my eyes bright patterns flash across my closed lids; I must have heat stroke, so I take a drink of water from the leather pouch about my waist. As I walk, my mind moves in a different time to my body, on a different path as well, so I sway confusingly as I try to keep in step with my own feet, I hear loud buzzing in my ears, I look about for some sort of flying monster, but this track seems uninhabited. I have fallen behind the group in my confusion, Basch notices and stops the others so I can catch up, ‘Are you alright Your Highness?’ he asks, but all I can concentrate on is how amazingly orange his vest is, ‘I’mmmm….’ I hear a voice say, but I cannot tell if it is mine or not because of the buzzing, which grows incessantly louder, ‘What’s wrong with her?’ Penelo (I think) whispers to Vaan, but when I try to look at them I see is bright light, which diffracts all over the tunnel, and I watch the scattering lights absentmindedly as I sway from side to side. ‘Here, let me see her’ says Balthier, ‘It’s probably just a bit of heat stroke’ I feel his strong hands press into my cheeks as he tries to look into my eyes, but there is no sensation, it is as if I have taken a step back from myself and can only watch, not feel. I eventually look him in the eyes, and I see many odd things, none of which have any business being in Balthier’s eyes, ‘I think she needs a bit of a rest,’ I hear him say, and suddenly my legs crumple underneath me and I fall, but his arms cradle my descent, and I am left held to his chest, unable to otherwise stand. I see the pattern of his vest writhing and constricting on the leather as if it were alive. I lift my hand to it, and see the congealed liquid of the flower on my forearm; I touch a finger gently against it, and pensively place it in my mouth, resting it on my tongue, as the sap fizzes very slightly, and I find it actually has a very pleasant taste. The pattern on Balthier’s vest morphs from his clothes onto my arm, as if it were alive, wrapping itself round my wrist and pulling tight, hurting me, I want to scream, but hear only a few muffled gasps. Balthier takes hold of my hand reassuringly, and upon his touch the pattern vanishes, and the vision passes.
I lift my head, which feels oddly buoyant, and see Balthier’s face before mine, I can’t help but realise how beautiful he is, he turns his head and I see the curve of his sideburns, I wonder how he finds the time to keep them so faultless? ‘Actually Basch,’ his voice echo’s, ‘I don’t think it would be a good idea if I were to let her go…’ I see his lips move, and think; how they too are perfect and inviting. I place a hand on the back of his neck, gently pulling down his mouth, and pressing it against mine. I start to blissfully drain away, I feel my body melt away into the floor and I can hear only a loud heartbeat, regularly pounding like a drum, in time to this beating shapes form and dance inside my mind, flickering gently like fire. All of a sudden fierce arms pull me from behind, away from Balthier, and spin me again and again until I cannot tell if I am moving or not, but I feel nauseous all the same. ‘She is not with us, she has been affected by the jungle’ Fran’s voice reaches my ears through the drumming, and I listen to her repeat those words, when my dizziness makes me sick, I cramp over onto my knees, and retch violently; a hand touches my back. ‘No, you must leave her, only time will bring her back to us’, the hand retracts. I lie flat out on my back, filling my lungs desperately with air and flying through the stars at the same time, then I fall into a peaceful trance, where I experience a feeling I cannot even describe, it’s a feeling that is a lack of feeling. I sleep peacefully, totally untroubled by feelings or emotions, which is something I haven’t done in a long time. ****************** ‘That was a cruel trick to play on the princess,’ ‘What was?’ I ask innocently, ‘That flower you gave her, you knew its properties didn’t you?’ ‘How could you suggest such a thing’ I say coolly, but I know that Fran has me sussed, she always does. I sigh a little, looking at Ashe on the floor,’ I didn’t expect her to react so violently to it, I thought it might… relax her a little,’ ‘Relax?’ she cries, ‘You know what its main uses are…’ ‘Basically Fran, are you accusing me of using it as an aphrodisiac on her?’ ‘Did it not work?’ she says rhetorically, giving me a critical look. ‘Well yes, I knew that it might make her a little more…affectionate’ ‘And it would be discourteous, for you, to not kiss her back, wouldn’t it?’ she adds sarcastically, she looks to Basch, who is sat glaring daggers at me some way up the tunnel, ‘The Captain is not best pleased with you at the moment…’ I start to speak, ‘Fran…’ I start, but with a small shake of my head decide to remain quiet. She settles next to me and we sit together companionably for a while, until unprovoked, and to no one in particular, Fran says, ‘Even when she regains some consciousness’ I assume ‘she’, means Ashe, ‘she will still be intoxicated for some time, most likely not until we leave the forest, when the cold in the Rift will clear her system, but before then she will still be vulnerable,’ she gives me a sideward glance, meaning either ‘Take advantage of her whilst she’s weak,’ or ‘stay away from her you womaniser!’ Basch seems decidedly in favour of the latter, but unfortunately I cannot read Fran as well as she reads me, and I am left in some confusion as to her feelings on the matter. I’ll just have to see how Ashefeels about all this when she regains consciousness. I do feel slightly guilty about tricking Ashe into her current state, and I must say I was rather frightened when she collapsed, but thankfully she recovered somewhat (along with my racing heart) and now seems quite happy, for once she looks like a normal nineteen-year old woman; bar the fact that she is lying in a drug-addled state on the floor, of course. *********************** ‘Hey Ashe? Are you with us now?’ Vaan studies me as he speaks; looking for any obvious after-effects whatever it was that happened to me. ‘Yes Vaan, I am fine now’ I speak louder than I expect, and everyone hears that I am ready to continue, I notice Basch give me a stern look, I wonder why he looks displeased until I remember, Balthier, I wince at how shamelessly I kissed him in front of everyone, I cannot believe how much I have humiliated myself. I also cannot believe that even though I was in a mad delirium whilst I kissed Balthier, he didn’t make any effort to stop me, and he did kiss me back very willingly, I sigh heavily (to expect anything else from him is ridiculous, really). I expect to feel unwell after having such a strange experience; but I feel unnaturally mellow and calm, and although the heat should be oppressive here, I am both cool and comfortable. I notice also that Balthier, curiously, seems to be looking very attractive (more so than usual), and when I catch his eye a few times throughout the rest of our journey to the Euryt Village, he winks at me discreetly. As Fran reveals the entrance, he walks by me on the path without a word, and he remains with her throughout the entire time we spend in the Euryt Village, much to my disappointment. I feel sorry for Fran as we leave the Village, she has lost nearly everything; family, home and Viera gift, but she did gain her freedom, and Balthier. Speaking ofBalthier, he is still looking irrepressibly handsome for some reason, and I cannot help brushing my hand against his as we make our way along the last track before the Paramina rift, the mouth of the tunnel just in sight, ‘Sorry’ I say coquettishly, giving him flirtatious glances. He looks me hard in the eye, ‘Are you sure you are completely recovered Princess?’ he asks me, sounding concerned, but his eyes glimmer suggestively, ‘Why, of course I am,’ I sigh, ‘why in Dalmasca wouldn’t I be?’ I place a caring hand on his arm when we are ambushed by a pack of Marlboros, and they give off thick purple plumes of gas, making it impossible to see more than a few inches; in the second before the smoke envelopes us, a thought, like lightning passes between our eyes; I leap into his arms just before the haze reaches us, and we kiss recklessly, hidden only by shadows and smoke. I put a hand up to his face and run my fingers through his hair, then trace them down his hairline as the kisses become intense, finishing above the arc of his sideburn; I cannot seem to stop myself from pressing down as I caress him, my nail cuts down the side of his face and I am aware I am pushing too hard and hurting him, but as I feel what I think is bloodrun down my thumb, he only kisses me more mercilessly; squeezing me so close I can barely breathe, gently biting my lower lip while running his hands further down my back. I pull my mouth away from his and start to kiss along his jawbone, he opens his eyes when our lips part, and then they flutter shut again through the smoke as I kiss his neck, I feel him tense underneath me, and when we are so close again that we share the same breath, he groans softly and placing a palm forcefully on the back of my head, pushes my mouth onto his, giving me a last wild kiss, which marks the peak of our lunacy because the smoke begins to clear, and we don’t stop as the others become faintly visible. Luckily everyone was blinded just long enough for us to realise the smoke was thinning and jump apart, sprinting to opposite ends to hide our sin from the others before they notice anything amiss. Once the fog dissipates we carry on towards the Rift, and I think nobody has noticed anything betraying, when, just as we step over the boundary, already wading though deep snowdrifts, I hear Penelo shriek, ‘Balthier! You’re bleeding!’ Everyone stops to look at him, and I see the fine red line across his face, cutting from his temple to his cheekbone; which has now bled and several paths run down his left cheek in parallel, the bright red blood contrasting with his now pale face. At the end of each trail sits a small drop, and when he twists his head to look at Penelo, one of these crimson drops casts itself into the snow near my feet, I suddenly realize why he is bleeding, and look quickly to my right hand, and see my thumb, stained with his blood, I shudder at this thought, and quickly hide my hand behind my back, completely ashamed with myself. Balthier puts a hand up to his wounded cheek, and then looks quizzically at his fingers when he sees them bloodied, ‘Oh’ he says, ‘ I ran into some thorns during the smoke attack, it probably looks much worse than it is’ ‘It looks pretty bad,’ says Penelo, obviously concerned and slightly squeamish about seeing Hume blood, ‘Which makes it only a slight inconvenience,’ he picks up a handful of snow and rubs it on his cheek, wiping it clean with a handkerchief, only I appear to notice him wincing slightly, which does nothing to lessen my guilt. Penelo still looks worried, ‘it’s stopped bleeding now,’ he tells her. My mortification at having hurt him like this is unbearable; it feels as if someone has cut into my own heart. Desperate to apologise, I inconspicuously position myself near him the next time we rest, and without turning my head I talk softly to him, ‘I’m so sorry, I don’t know what came over me,’ he understands my idea and without moving himself, replies, ‘Not to worry, it’s by far the most pleasurable injury I ever sustained’ although he seems fine, I don’t feel forgiven, perhaps I don’t deserve to be, ‘I promise it will never happen again.’ I say, and wonder if he is cross, I stand and begin to walk away, as we are the last two still remaining in the camp and if he is angry then the last thing he would want is to talk to me. But suddenly he reaches forwards and grabs both my wrists, crosses them behind my back, and holds them there firmly in one hand, whilst with the other he gently brushes my hair off my shoulder and tilts my head, to kiss my neck while murmuring, ‘How do you know Princess, that I don’t want it to happen again?’ I try to pull my hands away but he tightens his grasp, making it impossible to escape from him as I feel his kisses rising higher up my face, ‘Balthier’ I whisper brokenly, ‘why are you doing this?’ he stops kissing me as I stutter on, ‘how can you be like this after I …’ he quietly interrupts me, ‘Ashe,’ he releases my hands and I try to run away, but he quickly pulls me back with a warm arm across my stomach and whispers in my ear, ‘The pleasure is all mine.’
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