Somewhere in the Posse house…

Katy: *typing furiously on her computer*
Trowa: What are you doing?
G: No kidding, it sounds like a hailstorm in here.
Katy: I’m working on setting up my 401(k).
Trowa: That’s very responsible of you.
Katy: Yeah, I wanna make sure that when I’m 65, I still have money to buy video games.
Trowa: 0.o
G: Well, that sounds practical.
Katy: I thought so!
Rowen: So, now that you have all of this MONEY-

Katy: Hey, $10 an hour. No mooching.

Rowen: Right, well now that you have MONEY can you buy some defenses for the house or something?

Livy: Are you worried about someone coming in and stealing your troll collection?

Rowen: *red* NO! I just meant to keep US safe.

Kain: We live in a house with a Gundam, a suit of mysical armor, a mad scientist-

G: HEY!

Kain: -a kid wizard, and a Digi-destined.  What are you afraid of?

Rowen: *points outside* That.

Trowa: o.0

Katy: NOOOO! I’m in the middle of some very important finance decisions!!

*they are all strapped to chairs, unable to move*

G: I think that defense idea might be a good one.

Livy: I agree.

Not sure what to call this. Send ideas via reply.

Katy: I hereby call it “Sucky McSuckVille”.

G: How about "I Never Promised You a Decent Fic."

Livy: This fic doesn't deserve that clever of a title.  I just call it "Crap Fic."

Disclaimer: I do not own Ronin Warriors.

Rowen: *wide eyes* NOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Trowa: Oh thank GOD, it’s not me again.

That honor belongs to Bandai, Sunrise, Emotion and others. I do however own the child Riku

Rowen: Wait, like Riku from Kingdom Hearts?

Trowa: I don’t think she owns that.

Livy: Last I checked, Riku belonged to Disney and Square Enix, muahah.

and am borrowing the child Rose from my cuzin.

Kain: Cuzin? It’s like like a coozie?

Katy: Must be one smart coozie!

Trowa: Or dumb, depending on how you look at it.

G: I wonder how her "cuzin" feels about this child-borrowing?

 The plot of this is my own idea as well.

Warnings: possible OOC

Rowen: If by possible you mean EXTREMELY.

G: No implausible plot or horrific grammar warnings?  I'm shocked!

, if any more things come up I’ll warn you.

BabyBlueRowen: I hope you readers enjoy this. Let me know if you do or don’t. I don’t have that high of motivation

Kain: Well THAT’s good, then you won’t be disappointed.

 so every review helps me add more.

Rowen kneels in front of Rose Sanada

Trowa: o.0 Oh this is starting bad…

 with a smile on his face. Rose is 8 years old

Trowa: I really hope that how I read that first sentence was not correct now.

with long red hair, bright green eyes and a wonderful smile. Ryo adopted her after meeting her in a park,

Katy: I often adopt children I find wandering in the park.
Kain: So true.

 falling in fatherly love over her,

Rowen: WHAT?

Katy: EW.

 found out she was an orphan and things just flowed from there.

Trowa: Flowed like a river heading into a horrible waterfall.

Livy: Because I find small, orphaned children in the park all the time! Why, it's practically swarming!

“Rose, how would you like a playmate around your age?” Rowen asks slightly nervous.

G: Because he wasn't sure how everyone would take his pregnancy.  It wasn't exactly common in males.

Kain: [as Slightly Nervous] Why are you calling me Rose?

Rowen: [as Slightly Nervous] And no, I’m fine without one, thanks.

“I’d like it. I want some one other than daddy, Blaze, you and my other uncles to play with,” Rose says happily.

Katy: Doesn’t this child go to school and make friends?

Rowen: Don’t question the fanfic.

“What’s all this about Ro?” Ryo asks from his spot on the couch.

“Well, a friend of mine in America died.

Trowa: How did Rowen go to America and make a friend?

He gave custody of his kid to me.

Kain: And how on earth was he such good friends that he was named as godfather of the child?
Katy: I’m not sure you can just send a child overseas like that…

Livy:  Well that all happened very quickly!

G: And strange too, that this "friend" in America that we've never heard of would be so close that he'd leave his kid to someone overseas.

Livy:  Not even a single relative either...

I now have a 7-year-old son. He’ll be here tomorrow,”

Rowen: And for some reason, he didn’t bring it up before now.

Trowa: Maybe they have really fast shipping times.

Kain: Maybe Rowen chose the “Next Day Delivery” option.

 Rowen explains while sitting down on the ground to give his legs a rest.

Katy: o.0 What was he doing? Some form of strenuous exercise?

“What’s his name?” both Rose and Ryo ask at the same time.

Rowen smiles before replying, “Riku.”

Trowa: OKAY the whole house has names that start with R.  Lame.

Rose blinks

All: *blink blink blink*

while thinking about the name

Katy: [as Rose] What a retarded name.

and the fact that there will soon be a 7-year-old boy living with them.

Livy: As opposed to an eight year old boy.

After coming to a decision Rose smiles and claps happily.

Kain: I think Rose might be “special”.

Trowa: *snigger*

“Yay!!! A brother!!!” Rose shouts.

Katy: AIEE.  Exclamation points! *shields eyes*

Ryo and Rowen smile for different reasons.

Trowa: [as Ryo] *licks lips hungrily* Fresh meat!

Kain: [as Rowen]  Thank heaven for little boys.  I’m really a Catholic priest, you know.

G: Rowen is thinking about his pregnancy and Ryo is thinking about sexing Rowen up.

Livy: *smacks G upside the head*

G: What?!  It's not my fault they were both implied.

Ryo is happy because Rose is and Rowen’s happy because Rose is okay with the idea. Whiteblaze walks into the room and Rose immediately goes over to him and pets the huge tiger.

Rowen groans

Kain: -in anticipation.

and he stands up and walks over to the couch. “You don’t mind me moving a kid in here do you Ryo? This is really your place so I should have asked you first,” Rowen says slightly worried.

Katy: [as Slightly Worried] Hi, Slightly Nervous.

Rowen: [as Slightly Nervous] Why, hello!

Ryo smiles at Rowen and pulls the archer onto the couch.

“It’s fine Blue.

Rowen: NOOOOOOOOOO.

Livy:  What...

G: ... the hell?

Trowa: Pointless nicknames, FTW!

This place is yours as well and Rose needs a playmate her age,” Ryo reassures and wraps an arm around his best friend.

Livy: Ummm...

Rowen sighs relieved and leans against Ryo thinking about the boy who is now his son.

Livy:  UMMMMM....

Kain: … Is it just me, or are they rather… chummy?

Katy: It’s so not just you.

Next Day

At 7:00 the doorbell rings and both Rowen and Rose run for the door. Rowen, having longer legs gets to the door first

Trowa: No shit, Sherlock.

and slowly opens the door. Standing on the other side is a man with a black suite

G: The man owns a hotel!

Livy: It must be the weekend special - the Black Suite of Certain Death.

Rowen: [as Man] Would you like to buy this suite?

Trowa: [as Rowen] I’m just not sure about the color.  It’s so depressing.

and a small pale boy with poofy blonde hair

Katy: IT’S SAGE!!!

and wide innocent gray eyes.

“Mommy!” the little boy shouts quietly and clings to Rowen’s leg.

All: … WHAT?!

Trowa: Is the child retarded?

G: Mommy??  How old is this boy?  Two?

Livy: Most children I know are able to recognize males from females.  There's a distinct lack of chestage.

Rowen bends down and picks the boy up. “Hi Riku. It’s good to see you again darling.”

Rowen: I think I might be retarded. *cringes*

Kain: Not might be, ARE.

A confused expression crosses Roses face

Trowa: Because thinking is such a hard thing for her to do.

as she looks at Riku and Rowen. The man in the suit looks confused as well

Katy: [as Man] Are you going to buy my suite or not?

Kain: [as Rowen] You know, I think I like brown suites better.

but quickly leaves.

Rowen: Because he has no relevance to this plot.

L:  Poor purposeless man... didn't even get any lines.

“Why did he call you mommy?” she asks confusedly.

Katy: [as Confusedly] My name isn’t even a WORD!

“He always has. He feels like I’m his mother,”

Rowen: o.0

Kain: AHAHAHAHAHAHA. *slaps Rowen’s back*

Rowen: This is just humiliating…

Rowen replies as Riku hides his face shyly against Rowen’s shoulder.

“Cute kid,” Ryo’s voice comes from the kitchen entrance.

Trowa: When did the kitchen entrance learn to throw its voice?

Katy: I’m impressed!

The little blonde turns his head and looks at Ryo confusedly. “Daddy?”

G: ...

Livy: ...

G: I think I know where this is headed.

Rowen: Why do I have a bad feeling that had there been more to this, there would have been bad sex.

Katy: Probably because there actually would have been.

Trowa: Thank goodness the author never wrote any more.

TBC….?

Kain: Or NOT!

G:  Oh my, it's ended already.

Livy: That was quick!  What a relief!

G:  Indeed, I'm not sure how much more of that I could take.

Livy: Obviously, the writer couldn't take anymore either.

Rowen: Why aren’t the restraints coming off?

Katy: The badfic is done!

Trowa: Maybe we are stuck here because it was so short.

Livy: Oh no, I thought that was a BLESSING!

Kain: So you’re saying that we have to read another one?

Katy: Here it comes!

Their Mysterious Past

Disclaimer: I do not own the Ronin Warriors

Rowen: NOOOO not another one!!

or Ayame Mouri, Kurisutaru Kikuchi or Shiannu Kobayashi. Ayame is being borrowed from my friend ayame.marian.mouri. Kurisutaru is being borrowed from my friend kurisutaru.nikooru.kikuchi and Shiannu is being borrowed from my friend shiannu.rooreru.kobayashi.

Kain: Are those email addresses or something?

G:  What's with the borrowing? Always with the borrowing!  If you're going to write OCs anyway, at least write your own!

Ayame and Rowen

Katy: Who the F is Ayame??

Trowa: This is such a bad self-insert that we don’t even get any exposition.

were headed back to the mansion from the movies.

Rowen: And by movies, she means porn.

As they entered the woods, it suddenly got real quiet.

Katy: Suddenly I wanted to kill myself and make the author take a fifth grade grammar test.

 Nothing but the breeze blew whipping their clothes around.

Livy: [As Rowen]: *gets whipped in the face with his jacket*  "Yeouch!"

G:  What a strong "breeze"!

Kain: That sounds like more of a typhoon than a breeze.

Trowa: Maybe they are in New Orleans?

“What’s going on?” Ayame asked as they looked around.

Evil laughter could be heard coming somewhere out of the darkness

Rowen: I don’t think that actually made any sense.

 and three girls appeared out of nowhere. The girl on the left had short blonde hair and dark blue eyes.

Katy: AKA the author.

Livy: And then I suddenly appeared and killed everyone with a mighty blast.  I had short blonde hair and blue eyes.

 The one in the middle had short brown hair and brown eyes

Trowa: AKA the author’s best friend Moron McDumbPants.

and the one on the right had long red hair and hazel eyes.

Rowen: AKA what the author really wishes she could look like.

“You’re not going any further, Ice and Strata,”

Kain: WHAT? Who is Ice?

G: Ice?  I thought there were only nine armors?

Livy: Gratuitous armor-creation!

Trowa: Must be that Ayame girl.

Katy: If you are going to make up armors, make them cooler than ice. That’s totally lame.

Rowen: You know what else is totally lame? MADE UP ARMORS.

 the one in the middle said. “You’re coming with us.”

“I don’t think so,” Rowen said and Ayame nodded. “Armor of the Strata, dao inochi.”

Katy: Did Ayame just invoke the Armor of Strata?

“Armor of Ice, dao jinkei.”

Rowen: Dao what?

They transformed into their armors

Trowa: Literally, they had turned into just suits of armor.

 and stood there with their weapons ready. The three girls just looked at each other and closed their eyes as if in concentration.

Kain: But really, they were just constipated.

“Armor of the Winds, dao Uindo.” the girl with short blonde hair yelled.

“Armor of Stone, dao ishi,” the short brown haired girl yelled.

Rowen: Isn’t that an awful lot like Hardrock?

Livy:  If they're going to add random new armor, they could at least come up with better ones.

“Armor of the Heavens, dao kyuuten,” the long red hair girl yelled.

A black armor appeared on the girl with short blonde hair. It had silver on the arms and legs and along the chest. She carried a sword.

Katy: You can tell this one is the author because she goes into more detail about the armor.

A green armor appeared on the girl with short brown hair and she carried a bow.

Trowa: It’s FUU!!

A turquoise and yellow armor appeared on the other girl and she carried a sai.

Katy: Does she mean a scythe?

Trowa: I think she means a sai, but they are carried in threes, not alone!

“I guess introductions are in order,” the blonde said. “Since we know exactly who you.

Katy: And we speak in fragments.

G: Who you, foo?

Livy: Liv no like. Bad medicine.

You’re Rowen of the Strata and you’re Ayame of Ice. I am Kurisutaru, bearer of the Armor of the Winds.”

Kain: [as Kurisutaru] My name is basically jibberish.

“I, weak Ronins, is Reicheru,

Trowa: I is?  Now that is just insulting to the English language.

Rowen: [as Reicheru] I IS GOING TO KILL YOU FOR THAT!

 bearer of the Armor of Stone.”

“And I am Shiannu, bearer of the Armor of the Heavens.”

Rowen wasted no time. “ARROW SHOCK WAVE.”

The sure-kill

G:  What is this so-called "sure-kill?"

Kain: If it’s a sure-kill, how does this fanfic continue?

Katy: Maybe they are all ZOMBIES!

Trowa: Like Zombie Pagan!

Livy:  Apparently *not* something that's sure to kill you as all three enemies escaped unscathed.

barreled down on the three girls but they quickly dodged the attack and he saw that they were laughing as the smoke cleared.

“Is that the best you got, Strata,” Kurisutaru said leaping into the air with her sword above her head. “Let’s see you try this on for size. WHIRLWIND TERROR BLAST.”

Rowen: That’s the lamest sounding attack ever.

Trowa: But it sounds like maybe Bin Laden could use it or something.

“ICE TSUNAMI WALL BLAST,” Ayame yelled in an attempt to save Rowen from harm.

Her attack went straight thru Kurisutaru’s attack and slammed into her full force.

Livy: And then Rowen lol'd b/c TGIF and everyone was AFK.

Kurisutaru screamed as the sure kill hit her dead on.

All: AHAHAHA Bad pun!!

 She fell to the ground exhausted

Rowen: So what she really should call them is “Sure-Wipe-Outs”.

but soon got to her feet and she was steamed.

Kain: With some broccoli and a side of corn.

“You’ll pay for that Ice,” she said rushing her.

Katy: [as Rushing Her] Hello!

While Ayame dealt with her, Rowen took on Reicheru and Shiannu. Meanwhile, the others were waiting for Ayame and Rowen to get back.

Trowa: Because they didn’t notice the screaming outside or anything.

Ryo was starting to get worried when his kanji appeared on his forehead.

Rowen: That usually is a sign that some shit is going down.

G: It's like Ronin Alarm!

Livy: Your head is flashing! Someone must be in danger!

Looking around, he saw that everyone’s was

Kain: Everyone’s singular kanji?

Katy: That’s gotta be awkward.

flashing. Running out of the house, they headed for the woods, knowing that their friends were in danger.

Trowa: They could feel that they were in the woods!

But before they got to the woods, soldiers appeared out of nowhere and they had their hands full.

“Armor up guys,” Ryo yelled. “Armor of Wildfire, dao jin.”

“Armor of Torrent, dao shin.”

“Armor of Hardrock, dao chi.”

“Armor of Halo, dao gin.”

Katy: WHO IS SAYING ALL THAT??

Kain: And in the confusion of attributing speech, Cye ended up with Kento’s armor, Kento ended up with Ryo’s armor, Ryo ended up with Sage’s armor, and Sage ended up with Cye’s armor.

They started fighting the soldiers and were soon clearing a path through them to try and get to the woods. Ryo saw a chance to get into

G: Rowen's pants.

the woods and looked toward the others who was still fighting the soldiers.

‘You guys keep fighting,’ he told the others. ‘I’ll go find Rowen and Ayame.’

‘Go for it Ryo,’ Cye said to him.

Ryo nodded and raced into the woods. Where Rowen and Ayame was,

Kain: -- there apparently were no laws of grammar.

Livy: That sentence does not even make sense.

G:  Let's ignore it!

Ayame was head to head with Kurisutaru. She used her bow to deflect most of her attacks but she was getting hit by most of them

G:  Wait, so she was both deflecting and getting hit by most of the blows?

Livy:  Maybe she has a different definition for "deflecting".

Trowa: Maybe she’s just retarded.

and it was starting to wear her out.

Katy: I can only imagine that getting hit by arrows would indeed wear someone out.

She glanced over at Rowen and saw he too was getting wore out.

“Time to finish this,” Shiannu said as she leapt away from Rowen and raised her sai. “HEAVENS GATES CRUSHER.”

Trowa: That isn’t even grammatically correct!

Rowen: And there’s that pesky sai again.

Katy: Isn’t “Sai” a variation on how to spell “Cye”?

Kain: So she’s fighting with Cye as a weapon??

Trowa: That might explain some things.

Kurisutaru and Reicheru leapt out of the way as the sure-kill sailed right toward the two Ronins hitting them dead on. They were both sent flying backwards. Rowen went right through some trees taking some down

Trowa: I think the trees were more a sure-kill than the attack was.

and Ayame was slammed into a huge tree

Rowen: I can fly through multiple trees without dying, but she hits one and is knocked out. LAME.

where she slumped down to the ground and didn’t get back up. Her armor disappeared leaving her in jeans and a purple tank top.

All: TANG TOP!!

“Grab her and I’ll go get Strata,” Shiannu said to the others. “Master Talpa will be pleased.”

Kain: I’m pretty sure Master Talpa was dead.

As they went to grab Ayame, Ryo came running into the clearing with his swords straight out in front of him.

“Leave her alone whoever you are,” he demanded, looking ready to call upon his sure kill.

Katy: What he was REALLY ready to call on was his UnSure-Wipe-Out.

‘Just leave Strata and return with Ice,’ Talpa told the girls.

Livy:  When did Talpa get here?!?

Kain: Through some strange psychic mind link.

Trowa: I hate it when they use the Armor names like that.

 “We will get the rest of the Ronins in due time.’

“By for now,

Kain: [as For Now] Phew! That is finally done!

Katy: [as For Now] My very first letter to the editor!

Wildfire,” Kurisutaru said as she slung Ayame over her shoulder and all three of the girls disappeared, leaving Ryo alone in the clearing.

Rowen: Um, except for me.

Looking around for Rowen, he followed the trail of broken trees until he came upon Rowen on the ground, unconscious.

Trowa: Because the trail of broken trees was the size of a trail of breadcrumbs, and he had such a hard time looking for it.

He picked him up and headed for the manor. The others were waiting for them as he came out of the woods carrying Rowen.

Kain: Why didn’t they go and help?

G:  Because after they finished defeating the soldiers they were far too tired to try to help the others.

Livy:  Figures...

“What happened Ryo?” Sage asked as Ryo carried Rowen into the house.

“They battled new warriors that Talpa has,” Ryo said. “They got Ayame.”

“What do you mean they have Ayame?”

Trowa: [as Ryo] I mean they HAD Ayame.

Rowen: [as Ryo] Had their WAY with her, that is.

Katy: [as Ryo] Mwahahaha!

Livy: [As Ryo]: Well, you see, they took her with them, so now she's with Talpa.

G:  What a pointless question.

Cye said shocked when he heard this.

Kain: And by shocked, she means excited.

Katy: Possibly deliriously excited.

“Don’t worry Cye,” Kento said. “We’ll get her back.”

Ryo carried Rowen upstairs to his and Sage’s room with Sage right behind him so he could heal him.

Rowen: SAGE CAN’T HEAL PEOPLE, DAMMIT.

In the Dynasty, the three girls appeared in front of a dungeon cell.

Trowa: [as One Girl] Ah good, we got the right address.

Kain: [as Another Girl] Yup, here’s the dungeon cell all right.

They opened the doors and threw Ayame into it, then slammed the door shut and locked it and left to go meet with Talpa.

G:  Nice use of commas there.

Trowa: I know, I’m impressed.

Livy: Wait, that's the end?  YES!

G: I wonder what caused her to stop writing - the fact that the fic was crap or that she only got one review saying"you write good. update please"?

Rowen: Possibly the fact that it was SO BAD she couldn’t even bear to continue.

Katy: Yeah right, you wish.

*the restraints fall away*

Kain: Good, I was worried that there would be more.

Trowa: I just want to get the memory of those fics out of my mind.

Katy: I need to finish working out my 401(k)!